Response to CATW Essay Hype

            While reading this students essay it seemed to me that they understood the article very well.  The student gave a good summary of the article in the first paragraph.  He states that advertisements are taking over people’s lives and that is true because everywhere you go there is an ad in every direction.  Yes, it is true too that they are controlling people’s lives because they see that product as fulfilling their faults.  I agree with the student on this it is very true.  Also in the first paragraph the student used outside reading to related to the article.  The example of the Industrial Revolution I feel was a great example to use because that was the beginning of the advertisements.  I believe that the student could have shorted the introduction and made some it in to a second paragraph or combined it into the second paragraph.  For example, where it says, “Kalle Lasn provides several examples to portray why advertisement are mesmerizing…” that could have been the start of a new paragraph.

            The student also used another good example of obesity as an outside example to use in his/her paper in the second paragraph.  I found that very interesting and would have never thought of that.  As I said before, I believe that some of paragraph one should have been incorporated into paragraph two.  It fits in with all of the other examples his is giving us.

            The organization of this paper could have been better and made paragraph one shorter.  The language use was good and had a few mistakes but over all I could read this paper without any misunderstandings of what the writer was trying to say.

            I give this paper a passing grade because they have followed the directions.  The student summarized the article, gave the author’s most important idea; which was the over use of advertisements, choose 1 significant idea of the author, gave outside examples, and the grammar wasn’t that bad; just a couple of missed spelled words.  The organization of paper could have been better as well.